Published: October 12, 2008 07:56 am         

YFRC offers help to abuse victims

DANVILLE — The Domestic Violence Program at Your Family Resource Connection operates the only shelter in Vermilion County for women and their children who seek refuge from an abuser.

The six rooms that shelter has available are sometimes not enough. When there are more victims than can be adequately housed there, three rooms in the YFRC’s residential shelter must do extra duty.

“We need more space,” Maretta Withers, domestic violence program supervisor, said.

But the program Withers leads does more than provide safe harbor for those fleeing an abuser. Staff works with victims, who they prefer to call survivors, to help them gain the skills they need to free themselves from their ties to an abusive partner. One program works directly with the abusers.

PEACE

Emily Alexander leads the PEACE program, a group for men who have been convicted of domestic battery. The name is an acronym for Partners Ending Abuse and Choosing Equality.

“Domestic abuse is basically an unequal power struggle,” Alexander said. “Working with this program, I feel as if I’m actually doing something to make a difference.”

The batterers she works with are under court order to attend PEACE meetings. The weekly sessions last about 1½ hours each and take six months to complete. Although Adams said she tries to keep the groups small, at times the number of members has reached 14.

“I bring in as much information about domestic violence as I can,” she said. “I talk with them about their attitudes and beliefs about women.

“Many of these men were beaten as children,” she added.

If a man drops out of the program, Alexander said it’s a violation of his probation. Most drop-outs are given three chances to complete it. If they don’t, the court takes other action.

Legal system

The PEACE program is available to those who have been arrested and convicted of the crime of domestic battery. YFRC staff is available to help their victims.

Legal advocates work with law enforcement to help them understand domestic violence. It can be a difficult crime to deal with since victims often report abuse and then return to the same situation. The cycle of abuse includes the actual battery followed by a period of calm. The abuser turns apologetic and even charming, but before too long he grows violent once again.

“Our hats go off to (law enforcement),” Tawnya Morgan, child advocate, said. “Sheriff’s deputies treat victims with kindness and patience. They cover a larger area than Danville police officers, so they don’t go back to the same residence time after time. That can be very frustrating to the police.”

When a victim files charges against her abuser, YFRC legal advocates Carla Miethe and Janice Hawkins are available to accompany her to the courthouse. They can also assist her in filling out a request for an order of protection.

After taking that step, not all domestic abuse survivors go to the YFRC domestic violence shelter. Some feel safe enough to stay in their own homes once they have an Order of Protection in place. Others have family or friends who will take them in. Some with a job and their own assets may be able to afford a place of their own.

Life skills

Regardless of differences in where they live following separation from those who abused them, survivors of domestic violence have a great deal in common.

Besides the physical harm the batterers inflict, these men attack their victims emotionally and psychologically. They tear down the women’s self-esteem. They isolate them from family and friends. They threaten them with loss of their children.

Victims feel trapped and helpless. They remain in an abusive situation or, even if they’ve left, don’t have the self-confidence they need. They return.

The Domestic Violence Program staff has been trained to help with these issues. Several new initiatives, scheduled to begin around the first of the year, will help.

Morgan will start a parenting class at YFRC.

“It will be basic life skills,” Morgan said, “but it will be geared specifically to survivors of domestic violence.”

Along with those life skills, residential counselor and advocate Shanae Beasley sees the need for a job skills program that helps these women with everything from filling out an application to how to interview for a job.

Beasley also facilitates HALT, a program that delves more deeply into domestic violence issues with the victims and presents healthy alternatives.

Hawkins and Andrea Boling, medical advocate, recently had training in an economic empowerment program called REAP. They said it teaches survivors how to keep track of their credit scores, how to budget and how to function independently.

“These women need to prevent history from repeating itself,” Beasley said. “If they’ve gone through an abusive situation, they should be able to see it coming, recognize it if they get into a similar problem.

“It can be an addiction in itself,” she said.

443-5566

As medical advocate, Boling seeks medical treatment for shelter residents and responds to the hospital when a domestic violence victim requests services. All staff members in the program are trained for this type of response, as well as how to help women who call the 24-hour-a-day hotline. They take turns answering the line along with advocates Eva Harper, Debra Sims and ShielaHughes.

“When people call the hotline, they have two main questions,” Beasley said. “Number one is ‘How do I get an Order of Protection?” Number two is ‘Do you have space in your shelter?’”

Morgan said, “Most of the people we talk to come in within the next day or two. They want to know we’re here and open.”

Services will be provided once a file is opened for the client. They can be staying in the shelter or independently to receive these services.

“Most referrals come to us from other social service agencies,” Withers said. “We haven’t had as many lately. We’re still here, providing services, 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week.”