Published: September 12, 2008 10:02 am      

Parents fail to show up at program

DANVILLE — The Women Aware Committee of HALO Project, a healthy community initiative sponsored by Provena United Samaritans Medical Center Foundation, began Thursday evening a new program called Parents Aware.

The kick-off session at the Bremer Center at Danville Area Community College featured a diverse panel of speakers: Judge Craig DeArmond, North Ridge Assistant Principal Eliza Brooks, retired Warden of Operations at Danville’s Illinois Department of Corrections Rickey Williams Sr., Provena United Samaritans medical Center Director of Emergency Room Nicole Boose and Mayor Scott Eisenhauer.

These women and men shared their professional expertise and their personal experiences in short presentations that addressed the question posed to them by HALO director Kathy Richard.

“What are the effects of non-parenting?” she asked.

The problem was that the speakers were addressing their answers to the wrong people. The dozen or so parents who attended the session demonstrated their parenting skills just by showing up.

Amy Williams, activity director of the Boys & Girls Club of Danville, expressed her frustration at the low turnout for this event, a response similar to what she’s seen at events her organization conducts.

“How do we get the parents to these programs?” she asked. “We offer free food, child care, prizes and transportation. We can’t even get the parents to get their kids there.”

The panelists couldn’t answer her questions. Brooks commiserated with Williams and shared her own experiences as coordinator of Danville District 118’s summer school program.

“It was the same thing,” Brooks said. “We’d offer food, free transportation, but the kids wouldn’t show up. When we called the home, the parents said they just couldn’t make it.”

Those who did attend Thursday were offered some of the same perks: food, child care, transportation and a chance to win prizes. But most of all, they gained valuable insight into the consequences of poor parenting.

Brooks said children without strong parents are easy to spot in school.

“They have lower achievement,” she said. “They have a low self-concept, which leads to behavior problems. The older ones, the 8th graders, have no dreams for tomorrow. They just live for today.”

The effects of lack of parenting come to the attention of healthcare professionals, too.

“Children run a high fever for days without any help from their parents, no Tylenol, not even a thermometer in the house,” Boose said. “Their immunizations are delayed, which leads to an increase in disease. They’re injured on ATVs, in cars without proper restraints, on bicycles. They lose time in the classroom due to poor health or injuries.”

“Many children tell us they don’t feel safe in their homes,” she said.

DeArmond described the times he’s spent presiding over juvenile court as “ the most depressing years of my life. I see the world as a far more dangerous place today than when I was growing up.

“Parents who don’t parent leave their children without a framework,” he said. “The greatest influence on young people becomes their peer group. There’s no sense of family, no basic moral fiber, no boundaries, no limits.”

Rickey Williams Sr. spoke about the common denominators he’s identified dealing with offenders in law enforcement and a correctional facility.

“These people defy authority because their parents wanted to be their friends, not discipline them. No one told the children what to do,” Williams said. “They had no boundaries growing up. They looked for love and acceptance through alternative means, like gangs.”

Eisenhauer credited his own parents for his achievements, not just in his work but also as a stepfather to two teenaged girls.

“I am where I am today solely because of the parents I had,” he said. “Involvement is key, whether it’s in extracurricular activities or in the community. Parents set the standard.

“As parents, we are responsible for the next 50 years of this community. Our children are the people we’ll rely on,” Eisenhauer said.

Two parents of young children who attended the first meeting, Larry Caldwell and Melanie Davenport, already have parenting concerns about their preschool age children.

“I want to make sure my daughter is raised right,” Davenport said. “I want her to have good morals, a good home setting, a stable life.”

Caldwell said, “The early years have a big impact. I don’t want to raise a hoodlum.”

Parents Aware runs once a week through Oct. 14. Parents who attend will hear professionals on a variety of topics and will discuss and share healthy lifestyle choices and effective parenting methods. They will learn how to engage children in living a positive and healthy lifestyle.

“Much more than in previous generations, (today’s) children are faced with day-to-day choices that have true life-and-death ramifications,” Richard said. “Effective parenting helps children beat the odds of early pregnancy, futures lost to drugs or to academic failure.”

FYI

The next four Tuesday sessions of Parents Aware will be at 7:30 p.m. Sept. 16 through Oct. 7 at the Boys & Girls Club of Danville, 850 N. Griffin St. There will be three speakers each session. The topics will be parenting methods, the parents’ role in education and the parents’ role in health for their children. The graduation ceremony will be from 5:30-7:30 p.m. Oct. 14 at the Bremer Center at Danville Area Community College. Brennon Hightower, of Young Women Aware, will be the keynote speaker. All Parents Aware seminars are free. Transportation, daycare, snacks and door prizes will be provided. Registration is required. To register, call HALO at 442-6586.