The Commercial-News, Danville, IL

Community News Network

December 7, 2012

Celebrities who deserve their own holiday specials

Earlier this week, an estimated 9 million Americans watched Blake Shelton cavorting with elves during his holiday special, "Blake Shelton's Not So Family Christmas." (If you missed it, NBC plans to re-broadcast it Dec. 14.)

While the sight of a "Voice" coach twangily yelling at a little person dressed as a roast turkey may not be a yuletide tradition — yet — the celebrity-helmed Christmas show is certainly a long-standing cornball custom popularized years ago by, among others, the late Andy Williams.

This year, we've seen variety shows from Shelton and his "Voice" colleague Cee Lo Green. A few years ago, we got one from Stephen Colbert. Given how many famous people are itchy for attention in our great, Santa Claus-worshipping nation, we're certain of one thing: There is more work to be done here.

So consider this list of celebrity holiday specials that really should exist but for some reason, do not.

"Santa Claus is Never Ever Ever Coming Back to Town: A Taylor Swift Christmas"

Swift starred in a self-promotional Thanksgiving night special two years ago but still hasn't hosted her own splashy, candy-cane-coated program. Given how much the girl loves the color red, it is a federal crime that this hasn't occurred.

I envision a music-filled hour in which she sings a couple of duets with a hot Santa's helper, and a bunch of break-up songs about how Santa totally dumped her. She can then stage a grand finale in which she reconnects with Santa, pulls off his beard and reveals him to be Harry Styles from the boy band One Direction, whom she is reportedly dating.

Why hasn't this already happened?

"A Wes Anderson Christmas"

Text Only
Community News Network
E-edition
AP Video
Four Kids, Two Adults Shot Dead Near Houston Connecticut Boy Dies Inside Parked Car World's Tallest Water Slide: See It for Yourself Fans Dying to Be Near Jazz Greats Robots Gearing Up for Their Own 'World Cup' APNewsBreak: Different Attackers in Benghazi? Argentina to Face Germany in World Cup Final Service Held for 200 Whose Bodies Went Unclaimed Kim Kardashian Hits Up Valentino Show in Paris "Hotwives" Spoofs Reality TV Israeli Offensive Escalates in Gaza Attack Dozens Gain Citizenship As Debate Continues Dodgers Found Partly Responsible in Fan Beating Children of Deported Parents Speak Out Raw: 10-year Sentence for Ex-New Orleans Mayor Obama Talks Economy, Slams Republicans Police: Prostitute Accused in Overdose Death Raw: World's Tallest Water Slide Opens Thursday
NDN Video
Watch Kelly Ripa Get Soaked! Argentina tops Holland in World Cup semifinals Emmy Nominations: What to Watch For News flush: Japanese toilet exhibition making a splash Emma Watson Is Va-Va-Voom in Valentino Photographic 'Proof' That LeBron Is Leaving Miami - @TheBuzzeronFOX Elephant Pool Party at The Oregon Zoo Must-See! Berry and Fallon Form Human Hamster Wheel Pilot buys pizzas for travelers delayed by storm Klose nets record, Germany rout Brazil 7-1 'Purrmanently Sad Cat' Looks Adorably Sad All the Time Pharrell 'humbled' by success of mega-hit 'Happy' Day After: Brazil Reeling in WC Loss Jennifer Lawrence Facepalms Emma Watson Athletes Bare All for ESPN Magazine's Body Issue Raw: Brazil Fans Leaving Stadium Before Half Andi Dorfman Walks Out During the Rose Ceremony 5 Firework Fails for July 4th Justin Bieber Catches Tom Hanks Getting Down, Showing ‘How We Do It Big shoes to fill for Brazil ahead of Germany clash
Must Read